I have had a strange sensation in my body and spirit lately, like I am locked in the now. We have many spiritual stories about how it is to reach the point, where we can be present in the now, and none of them includes being locked in the now. So of course I have resisted it because I have been used to being able to read into the past, present and future easily, so it feels like a restriction being locked into the now, until I got it – it is the ultimate state of freedom from overload of information.
When we rest in this state of mind, there is nothing we have to prove, neither to ourselves nor to others. We can just relate to the information that is required for living in that particular moment, whether it is relating to others, working or relaxing. We don’t need to be clever, we don’t need to prove we are worthy of being alive, we can just register that we are alive, and we can choose to enjoy it.
There is a sense of innocence that most people miss out in life, a sincere innocence that unfolds when we trust life, and we trust that life will treat us well and bring us good things. This innocence blooms when we take our guards down, in total vulnerability because we trust ourselves, to make healthy decisions. And we trust so deep because we sense we are suddenly trustworthy. In this space we are in alignment with life and God and Mother Earth, and our decisions are naturally aligned with the highest good of everything.
The process requires giving up everything we are, and everything we want to be. It requires the willingness to see everything as it is. And it requires loving ourselves, which can be the most difficult part for many people. Loving everyone else seem much easier. So the process require a deep healing on loving ourselves, and feeling worthy to be loved, and regaining healthy self-esteem and self accept.
The freedom of the now is so quiet and nothing is really going on, so it is a huge contrast to running around loving everybody else, and constantly giving and doing. We can feel unemployed, because the love is just there, there is no effort in loving everybody else, and there is not necessarily action involved. From this space life just runs through us and the impulses of life will come to us. Now it is time for this… and now it is time for that…. And now there is quietness.
The impulses or pulls are very specific, so there is nothing to figure out. The art is to be able to live in the unknown, until we know. And this requires de-attaching from the self, to see and experience that we don’t know anything, until we get impulses of knowing. The impulses of knowing comes when our mind stops controlling everything, and we can be present in not knowing, then the real knowing comes.
The turning point for me was being willing to go completely out of wants and needs. And be willing to not know anything, and to understand that it really doesn’t matter what happens and what we do. Being locked in the now helps me taking care of myself. How is it to be me right now? What does my body require? What is happening around me? Are there any impulses or pulls to do anything?
And in the middle of being locked in the now, and not really having any thoughts on the past or the future, I have no idea who I am, and it really doesn’t matter. And I don’t even know if this state of mind will continue or if it will end, and it really doesn’t matter.
In this quietness we will find the freedom, and be connected in our body, heart and soul. And this state of mind feels so whole, that it feels joyful and powerful even when we are exhausted. There is no conclusions that the moment should be different than it is. We can be exhausted, and that is perfectly okay… In this state of mind we can be completely authentic with ourselves and because of that, we can go into our authority. There is no self importance and yet there is a strong sense of self and human core, it is just not controlled from the mind. I had always thought that it would feel more high frequent and cosmic. But it feels solid and stable in all frequencies, also the lower vibrations we contain.
The intention and the willingness to be vulnerable with everything is essential, as well as the willingness to receive and love ourselves. And it requires a lot of transformation of abuse, guilt and shame. The big question is: do we want to live in the illusion of our self and the physical world or do we want to live in the experience of our true self? My nature is to want to purify and transform, and right now all the energies that are available in the universe, makes it so much easier than earlier, to purify and transform, so we can be everything we are. I wish everybody would set their intention and really wanting that for themselves and others!