What is the essence of loving yourself? How many people do you know that love themselves? It is a difficult process to go into alone, we often need a catalyst – a person, workshops or treatments, to mirror what we need to see.
So many people are trying to make the best out of the battle of life. But that is not really living from our highest good and loving ourselves. Showing the world who we are, and living from that space.
I have a theory that each person has a primary fear that overpowers everything else. It is a fear where we think we dissolve if it happens. It can be “loosing people”, “being neglected” or “being abandoned”. When we find out what our primary fear is, we can change it. I recommend healing it and recoding it.
So how can we really love ourselves? How can we see all the qualities and treasures we have? And how can we be there for ourselves? Unfolding it all?
First we have to focus on getting into our own reality, to let go of all the things we think we should be, should do and should achieve, before we can really see what we are and what we want. And it is important to understand that there is a reason we have the personality we have in this lifetime. It is perfect for our challenges and for our development. And it is designed to take care of our heart and our soul in this lifetime.
If we love ourselves fully, we cannot be in the psychical world’s reality, where we are preoccupied with what other people think of us and what they expect of us. We have to let go of all the thought patterns regarding how we fit in and how we should behave. We need to get into an inner focus, where we navigate from our soul.
Secondly we really have to choose ourselves, and be there for ourselves, making good decisions for ourselves and do what is best for us. Clearing all the encodings of “being a good servant for others and the world”, constantly helping and not putting the energy into creating our own life. Many spiritual people have these encodings, and it is problematic because we are so focused on the world and on others, that we neglect ourselves.
Until recently I never felt that I created my world. I thought I should read the world around me and navigate in it. I never really had big goals and agendas to achieve them. I always worked hard on my projects and wanted them to come through, but I never had any long term plans, because I was very flexible in life. Constantly reading and planning my things according to everybody else. If somebody needed help I was there, and if somebody wanted to talk I was there. And I can see now, that it is really neglecting myself.
We need healthy boundaries to take care of ourselves, and most of us have grown up with unhealthy boundaries, getting our boundaries overstepped as well as overstepping the boundaries of others. When we love ourself we will not allow this behavior. The interesting part is, when we get rid of our primary fear encoding, we find out that we can give ourself what we were craving for getting from the world. Then we start walking away from situations where people overstep our boundaries. And we have no reason to overstep other people’s boundaries.
When we are not alert in our nervous system all the time, because we have overcome our fear, we start pulling down our defenses, and we feel, see and experience ourselves much more. Others can suddenly see who we are and we get appreciated much more. This is a brilliant circle, where we then see ourselves better, inspired by others. And when we begin seeing our own beauty, uniqueness and presence, we cannot neglect ourselves anymore.
When we find a deeper love for ourselves that really honor our greatness, we are in peace with everything and can relax and enjoy life. It is as if we only allow things that contribute to our life, and we start creating the life that we desire. The love that we allow from our soul to our human presence runs out into the world, and we will experience that we suddenly love everything else more, the nature, mother earth, people and God/The Universe.